Haven't wrote in ages, oh Godd.. But lately there's just too much to keep to myself.. So i'm a share it with you guys *though no one actually reads my blog -- don't care*
So where do i start? About last week, i had a breathtaking experience.. I met some people that i didn't wanna meet.. Yeah they were my ex-parents in law-wanted to be *or do i have to say, should be?!* I can see why i'm so shocked to meet them *thank God they didn't see me* but that's not the point of this post..
That short experience led me to my past.. When i was still in college.. And one particular thing happened.. How i use to think that "that was my chosen path".. That's the reason why i went to that specific university and took that specific major.. It's all destined for me to meet those people, hang around with a whole different bunch of people, etc..
But then things got worse n worse.. And so i was at the bottom for once.. And again, i thought to myself, "that was meant to be, that's the reason of my life, that i had to bla bla" -- after a set of heavy objection i sent to HIM of course..
And after that, there were many many moments i think to myself, this is why i'm here.. That is why this happens, and this is why that happens.. I always try to rationalize things, events, moments, my life! I dislike situations in which i've got no clue about why something's happening in my life as if everything happens for a reason..
Well, good point is that, everything DOES happen for a reason! Not so good point is: not MY reason, but HIS *yeah again, i sense some kind of disappointment here* that the more i question the more it hurts.. The more i deny it the more it keeps coming to me in a strange yet unique way..
And today, as i think about this path i've chosen.. It hurts at one point.. I'd really like to stop.. But my natural instinct tells me that i cannot give up at this very moment.. I have to try, n i won't stop before i die *i know, i'm overdoing this -- don't care*
But now, as much as it hurts, as simple as it seems, i'd like us to think in a more elegant way..
~ try to see everything as a PROCESS, not a result.. in this CYCLE of life, every attribute that walks with you has an EXPIRY DATE.. we never know when they're gonna get expired, but when they do, never see it as an end, but as a beginning of another process ~
These words keep me from giving up, and reduce my hesitation about everything because i know one thing for sure.. HE loves me enough not to let me down!
- dna -
So where do i start? About last week, i had a breathtaking experience.. I met some people that i didn't wanna meet.. Yeah they were my ex-parents in law-wanted to be *or do i have to say, should be?!* I can see why i'm so shocked to meet them *thank God they didn't see me* but that's not the point of this post..
That short experience led me to my past.. When i was still in college.. And one particular thing happened.. How i use to think that "that was my chosen path".. That's the reason why i went to that specific university and took that specific major.. It's all destined for me to meet those people, hang around with a whole different bunch of people, etc..
But then things got worse n worse.. And so i was at the bottom for once.. And again, i thought to myself, "that was meant to be, that's the reason of my life, that i had to bla bla" -- after a set of heavy objection i sent to HIM of course..
And after that, there were many many moments i think to myself, this is why i'm here.. That is why this happens, and this is why that happens.. I always try to rationalize things, events, moments, my life! I dislike situations in which i've got no clue about why something's happening in my life as if everything happens for a reason..
Well, good point is that, everything DOES happen for a reason! Not so good point is: not MY reason, but HIS *yeah again, i sense some kind of disappointment here* that the more i question the more it hurts.. The more i deny it the more it keeps coming to me in a strange yet unique way..
And today, as i think about this path i've chosen.. It hurts at one point.. I'd really like to stop.. But my natural instinct tells me that i cannot give up at this very moment.. I have to try, n i won't stop before i die *i know, i'm overdoing this -- don't care*
But now, as much as it hurts, as simple as it seems, i'd like us to think in a more elegant way..
~ try to see everything as a PROCESS, not a result.. in this CYCLE of life, every attribute that walks with you has an EXPIRY DATE.. we never know when they're gonna get expired, but when they do, never see it as an end, but as a beginning of another process ~
These words keep me from giving up, and reduce my hesitation about everything because i know one thing for sure.. HE loves me enough not to let me down!
- dna -
